Three words: puerto rican gang bang
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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