so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
