We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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