whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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