Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
