he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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