Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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