I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
