but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
