Ambien. No doubt about it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so let's talk penis.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
