dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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