marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
