in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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