he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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