I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
