I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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