wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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