Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
