So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My vagina just recognized that song.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
