Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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