i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Porn is love you can see.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
