it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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