Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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