I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
