How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
