even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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