All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
