who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
