Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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