we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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