Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
