I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
