i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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