they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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