Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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