Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
