new low.... made out with someone while peeing
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
