Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
