I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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