i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
