god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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