hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
