You work out of a Hotel?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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