We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
