You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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