All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
