we're making bets on your personal life
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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