i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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