Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you would pick up someone in the library
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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