Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
wow bdsm is so cute
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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